{"id":235,"date":"2005-08-03T00:07:21","date_gmt":"2005-08-03T05:07:21","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.sikander.org\/journal\/?p=235"},"modified":"2005-08-03T00:07:21","modified_gmt":"2005-08-03T05:07:21","slug":"two-hundred-dollar-bills","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sikander.org\/journal\/2005\/08\/two-hundred-dollar-bills\/","title":{"rendered":"Two Hundred Dollar Bills"},"content":{"rendered":"

Tonight on the way home from work I spontaneously decided to stop at the convenient store so I could pick up a delicious six pack of Sam Adam\u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00e2\u201e\u00a2s summer ale. It\u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00e2\u201e\u00a2s a nice wheat brew that\u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00e2\u201e\u00a2s a bit like a hefeweizen.\u00c3\u201a\u00c2\u00a0I dropped my prize on the counter and the man behind it instantly said \u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00c5\u201cID.\u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00c2\u009d<\/p>\n

Not \u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00c5\u201cID, please\u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00c2\u009d or \u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00c5\u201cMay I see your ID\u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00c2\u009d but a pretty matter-of-fact \u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00c5\u201cID.\u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00c2\u009d<\/p>\n

I already had my wallet in my hand, though, so it wasn\u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00e2\u201e\u00a2t much trouble to open it and slide my driver\u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00e2\u201e\u00a2s license out and place it into his hands.<\/p>\n

\u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00c5\u201cThis driver\u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00e2\u201e\u00a2s license is expired\u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00c2\u009d he says to me.<\/p>\n

I\u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00e2\u201e\u00a2m not going to deny it \u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00e2\u20ac\u0153 my driver\u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00e2\u201e\u00a2s license is expired by almost a month now. However, the driver\u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00e2\u201e\u00a2s license explicitly states that I was born in 1978 so its expiration shouldn\u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00e2\u201e\u00a2t be much of an issue.<\/p>\n

\u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00c5\u201cYeah, it\u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00e2\u201e\u00a2s expired,\u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00c2\u009d I said. \u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00c5\u201cBut that shouldn\u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00e2\u201e\u00a2t really matter. It still shows the year I was born and I\u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00e2\u201e\u00a2m obviously way over the age limit required to buy beer so\u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00c2\u00a6\u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00c2\u009d<\/p>\n

\u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00c5\u201cBut it\u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00e2\u201e\u00a2s expired.\u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00c2\u009d He looked at me with a very serious business expression.<\/p>\n

\u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00c5\u201cI realize it\u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00e2\u201e\u00a2s expired, sir, but it still shows the year I was born, regardless.\u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00c2\u009d<\/p>\n

He then gave me what I swear to God is one of the blankest, most confused and dumbfounded looks I have ever received in my life. He just sort of stared at me as if what I had been saying was some sort of voodoo science that made no sense. Then comprehension slowly dawned on his face.<\/p>\n

\u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00c5\u201cSix fifty-three.\u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00c2\u009d He said, again very matter of factly.<\/p>\n

I had exactly two hundred dollars in my wallet in the form of two one hundred dollar bills. I handed him one.<\/p>\n

\u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00c5\u201cOh, no, I don\u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00e2\u201e\u00a2t have change for this.\u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00c2\u009d He said, disappointingly.<\/p>\n

Keep in mind that by this time there were at least four or five people behind me in line shuffling their feet. I was already embarrassed, regardless of whether it was my fault or not that we were having this delay, so I was ready to just leave and accept the fact that I wouldn\u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00e2\u201e\u00a2t have any golden ale tonight when\u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00c2\u00a6<\/p>\n

\u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00c5\u201cHere\u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00c2\u009d the guy said from behind me, slipping me five twenty dollar bills. I handed him my hundred. I guess there are still good people in the world.<\/p>\n

\u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00c5\u201cOh, thanks.\u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00c2\u009d I said. Problem solved.<\/p>\n

I handed a twenty dollar bill to the cashier. He plinked open the register as if none of this were odd and gave me my change. Thank God that ordeal was over.<\/p>\n

I moved my stuff off to the side and started stuffing change into my wallet so the next guy could buy his stuff. I didn\u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00e2\u201e\u00a2t want to hold anybody up anymore. I heard the cashier give him his total which was just a couple of dollars. Then I heard, \u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00c5\u201cI don\u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00e2\u201e\u00a2t have change for that.\u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00c2\u009d<\/p>\n

I turned my head and saw the guy who just helped me holding what was moments ago my hundred dollar bill.<\/p>\n

\u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00c5\u201cBut this is all I have\u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00c2\u009d, he said.<\/p>\n

At this point I\u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00e2\u201e\u00a2m fucking dumbfounded. This guy just gave me five twenties knowing that I needed them because the cashier couldn\u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00e2\u201e\u00a2t give me change for a hundred. Then he immediately tried to use the same bill to buy his pastry and energy drink.<\/p>\n

The guy looked at me. I looked at him. The cashier looked at us both like we were the biggest idiots he had ever come across in his life. Four people in line stared incredulously at my new friend and I.<\/p>\n

I handed the cashier a ten dollar bill and said, \u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00c5\u201chere, use this\u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00c2\u009d and without question he did. The guy buying the pastry and energy drink mumbled a weak \u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00c5\u201cthanks\u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00c2\u009d and hurried out before I could even get my change.<\/p>\n

I don\u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00e2\u201e\u00a2t have a clever way to end this story because I\u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00e2\u201e\u00a2m still pissed off I paid for some asshole\u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00e2\u201e\u00a2s pastry. The end.<\/p>\n

[ shack<\/a> ]<\/p><\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Tonight on the way home from work I spontaneously decided to stop at the convenient store so I could pick up a delicious six pack of Sam Adam\u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00e2\u201e\u00a2s summer ale. It\u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00e2\u201e\u00a2s a nice wheat brew that\u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00e2\u201e\u00a2s a bit like a hefeweizen.\u00c3\u201a\u00c2\u00a0I dropped my prize on the counter and the man behind it instantly said \u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00c5\u201cID.\u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00c2\u009d […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[25],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-235","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-25"],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p5XQq-3N","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sikander.org\/journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/235","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sikander.org\/journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sikander.org\/journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sikander.org\/journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/6"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sikander.org\/journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=235"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/sikander.org\/journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/235\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sikander.org\/journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=235"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sikander.org\/journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=235"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sikander.org\/journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=235"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}